Hey man, whatever sinks your battleship

A few weeks ago I was walking down 4th Avenue near 14th Street. Coming towards me were a couple pushing one of those huge, monster, Hummer type strollers. There was pile of garbage bags, boxes, and junk piled up near the intersection, including a large, old rolled up carpet. The carpet took up the width of the sidewalk and the couple struggled to push the stroller over the carpet before they just lifted it over. I passed by them, stepped on and over the carpet and kept on walking. Then a man with a hand truck, waved to me and said, "There's a guy in there!" pointing behind me. I laughed a little, "Yeah, right" and kept walking.

"No, no there's a guy in there!" I looked back and a large man, crawled out from inside the rolled up carpet, his sweatpants pulled down revealing a pasty, plumbers crack. I jumped with a yelp and ran a couple of feet. What the hell?

The man in the rug was yelling at guy with the hand truck and pointing in my direction.

"Don't tell people I'm in there!" He yelled, pleading with the man with the hand truck. "I'm not homeless, please don't tell people I'm in there."

I turned and walked quickly down the street, my heart pounding, shaking my head with a grin. More power to you, buddy. I won't tell anyone you're in there.

So, if you happen to be walking down the street and see a very large, rolled up rug across the width of the sidewalk feel free to step on it.