From the Bottom to the Top

I always thought of myself as being rather bottom-esque. I tend to like being under men rather than over them. I like being out-of-control. I like being physically beaten down, worn out, used up. I like doing what I'm told and doing it well. 

I've been seeing how the other half-lives for a while now and you know what? It's fun over there. The first time I beat a guys ass (beyond a teasing spanking) I thought to myself, "This is really delightful! I can see why people like doing this!" Sitting on a guys face is a whole lot of fun. Making someone wince and squirm is pretty fantastic. People doing what I tell them to do? Even better!

So, this weekend I will have the opportunity to get a little bossy. Nate* wants to be tied up and I am welcome to have my way with him, whatever that means. I'm not sure yet. I am not a rope expert by any means, so I thought it would be good to bring in someone with some skills. I also think it will take some of the pressure off. I don't want to be the only one responsible, not yet at least.

I love the way this works; cute, sweet man wants to fuck me and get tied up. I want to fuck the cute, sweet man and my friend wants a man to practice tying up. See how the universe works?

People always think I'm a domme or a top or whatever you want to call it. I don't know if it's because I'm tall or what, but when I used to go to Paddles, I was usually approached by men asking me to spank them (or to let them rub my feet). I would tell them politely that I wasn't a top and they would inevitably respond with, "Well, would you like to try?"

At the time, I didn't. I was still figuring out what they hell I wanted. One kink at a time, thank you very much. At Leather Retreat last year, I was asked to help a woman kidnap her husband with a band of seven or eight other women. They beat the shit out of him. I was the one giving him sips of water, telling him what a good boy he was, and sucking his cock when it was over.

I've been sneaking over the fence for a couple of years. I might be ready to walk in through the front door. So this time tomorrow there will be a naked young man tied to my bed (or in a chair or something, I don't really know the details yet) and I'll do whatever the hell I want to with him and he'll like it...

God damn it.

Wish me luck.

* previously known as "Jeff"