Floating World 08

I don't make plans. I used to make plans, I used to be a lot more organized. When I first started going to kink conventions, about two years ago, I would start packing a week in advance. I'd have specially crafted shopping and to-do lists. I would massage my profile and chat with potential playmates.  I would print-out the class schedule and highlight my choices. I'd bring Luna bars and Airborne. I'd pack at least 2 corsets and 2 pairs of boots to go with my carefully planned outfits. I had my suitcase packed to the brim and my toy bag stuffed with at least 2 vibrators, a dildo, spreader bars, handcuffs, a paddle, 2 floggers, a box of condoms and lately a gas mask. None of which I would end up using. Well, except for the dildo and the vibrator. I'd print out all the paperwork and get to the train station an hour early so I could get my bottle of water and my Vanity Fair.

This time, I woke up with a slight hang-over about a hour later than I intended with bags under the bags under my eyes. I threw a half-assed assortment of tops and bottoms, that may or may not have gone together, into the suitcase about a half hour before I had to leave for the train. No corset, one pair of blacks flats as an alternative to the leather Chuck Taylors, a paddle and oh yeah, a dildo and the Hitachi and it all fit in one suitcase. I made it to the train station with about 20 minutes to spare. Enough time to get the fall Vogue and a bottle of water and wander around looking for Lynsey who had the foresight to buy my ticket for me. After a mad dash down the platform, I found my partner in crime. 

I didn't fill out my profile (or did I? I don't even remember), I printed out the schedule and circled a few classes, but neglected to actually check to see what day or time they were being held. Before we went on to the hotel, we stopped and got a couple of slices near the train station. Looking over the list, I realized I had missed one and was currently missing a class I wanted to check out. No matter. A slice of pepperoni pizza, a fountain coke and 3 nights of air-conditioning were all I really needed at the moment. I made no playdates, made no plans to meet up with anyone. A friend of mine asked me if I was going to Winter Fire in October. I replied, "I don't even know what I'm doing next week."

I figured I'd just see what happens. I've found if I just keep my eyes and ears open, something usually comes up. But that's my trouble with going to these events as a single person. There is no assured partner. There is no definitive go-to person to tie up, beat up or fuck. There is no "assumed we". There is no guarantee of a naked body in the bed next to me after a night in the dungeon. I was feeling particularly lazy last weekend and didn't go out of my way to find that naked person.

I pretty much knew the weekend would be about the classes and there were a few I dug more than others: Lolita's class on gags inspired me to buy my own dental retractors. Corey Alexander's Full Body BDSM reminded me why I love being thrown against walls. Yin's "When Home Depot is your Sex Toy Store" was inspiring in more ways than one. Because of British "Lucky" Paul's class on suspension without rope, I now desperately want to get fucked while hanging upside-down in a straight jacket. I happen to own a straight jacket, so I'm part of the way there.

I'm going to Dark Odyssey Camp and I've promised myself I'd be a bit more proactive and do some prep work. As much as I'd like to believe it, cocks just aren't going to just leap into my pussy from thin air. I'm not Fonzie. I can't snap my fingers and have a man grinning with a flogger appear at my side within seconds. So, I did my profile, I'm messaging and I'm buying a cold weather sleeping bag so I don't wake up in the middle of the night with my teeth chattering like last year. I hope to get a ride, so I don't have to limit all my crap to two bags on the train. I'm learning. There's still no "assumed we". I don't know if you've noticed, but I haven't mentioned Ben in a while. I'd say we broke up, but he would have to actually communicate with me in some way to actually break up with me.

It's still hard for me to ask for what I want, but I'm working on it.

I'm getting shit done.

PS: Holy crap! I forgot about the two most fun parts of the weekend! Lynsey punched me in the face (kind of) in Angel's class (against her gentle nature) and mummified my head in plastic wrap in Yin's class which was wonderful. I could have taken a nap in there. So I learned two new things about myself: getting punched in the face is kind of hot (if done extremely gently by someone who doesn't really want to punch you in the face) and I like getting my head mummified. We tried to wrap up the rest of me in my hotel room after dinner, but only got as far as my right forearm.